Yes, it’s about a girl… If you don’t want to hear it, go back to youtube.

I’m realizing how wrong I was, one day at a time.  What I thought would work, what I thought I could make happen, what I wanted… was not only unfair and unreasonable, but just flat-out unworkable.  Worlds apart, I just keep thinking. 

Maybe I lack faith, maybe I lack trust.

Once again I’m drawn into my unending discussion of choice…

I still have to wonder how much of this was God and how much was our own doing.  I haven’t believed in fate since… the 2nd Terminator movie I think.  Never bought into this “oh, God has somebody for you and when the time is right he’ll bring them into your life”.  Any two people – ANY – who have Christ first in their lives and are pursuing him above all else can make a lasting relationship.  I think that’s the beauty of it.  We get to pick what set of personality and character colors we want to add to the mural of our life.  Without the element of choice, God’s whole plan becomes of little significance.  It’s only BECAUSE of choice that divine guidance IS significant.  Obedience, hope, courage, love, all our better angels spring from choice, as do our worst.

The problem, then, becomes choosing good, right, and ultimately, life. 

Proverbs 3:5-6 has always been a hard verse for me to swallow, but leading is God’s offer to blend chance and choice into a masterpiece, eternally adorning the walls of heaven with the brilliance of a life well lived.

But we make art of each other as well.  My choices have affected others, and not always for the better.

I hate when the abstract sears its way into the tangible. 



I still question one choice…

I still worry about her.  She’s my friend, my ally.

She’s the ‘not’ that has been, and ever will be.  I wonder if she’ll ever find it again.

We held something precious and fragile in our hands, only to let it fall to the ground. 

What if it WAS our choice?


No complaints, no regrets.  Just a little concern, and the constant wish that I could heal it for us both.


Ecclesiastes 3

 1To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

 2A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

 3A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

 4A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

 5A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

 6A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

 7A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

 8A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

 9What profit hath he that worketh in that wherein he laboureth?

 10I have seen the travail, which God hath given to the sons of men to be exercised in it.

 11He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end.

 12I know that there is no good in them, but for a man to rejoice, and to do good in his life.

 13And also that every man should eat and drink, and enjoy the good of all his labour, it is the gift of God.