The following link is borrowed from Cannone’s site but I want to help get the spotlight on it.  ALL SINGLE CHRISTIAN GUYS NEED TO TAKE FIVE MINUTES AND CHECK THIS OUT… But especially those ‘I-grew-up-under-a-rock-and-bill-gothard-is-my-hero’ creatures among you.  This is the most comprehensive handbook on Christian dating I’ve ever seen.  Wish I’d seen it a week earlier…

Don’t ask.  I won’t tell you. Deal with it.

Okay there’s cool, then there’s awesome, then there’s this! Thanks Ryan you’re an inspiration!

II Bachelors 3:1-17

1 I write unto all the brethren, who have abstained from the snare of marriage, but especially unto those who are backslidden, and are considering entering into that untoward state. 2. For I say unto thee when thou goest out to find a woman, look well to thine thoughts, and consider the intentions of thine heart. 3 He that is married hath little enjoyment in life, for his helpmate doth help to empty his purse, and little else. Yea verily, I say unto you, she doth greatly curtail his spending on the basic necessities of life, namely bows, guns, new trucks, and motorcycles. 4. But she doth say unto him, Thou fool, thou shouldst have spent the money to take me shopping. And she doth serve him supper cold that night. And when thou goest out to take a  deer, she doth nag on thee to fix the sink, which doth not drip very much and could easily wait until thou hast slain a large he deer to ornament thine wall.5. And she doth not realize that thou doest it for her sake, that she may have meat
  to serve when the neighors come. 6. And when thou eatest at thine table, remember that no foul sounds may issue forth from thine mouth, and he that gobbleth his food and forgettest to offer thanks to she that made it doth sleep on the couch for a week. 7 And when thou art in the courtship process, thou must pay all her expenses from food to new shoes, which doth grow quite costly. 8. And I would not have you ignorant, brethren, concerning those who have entered that state, and would deceive you concerning it. 9. For many say that it is a beautiful thing to find a wife, but they know in their hearts that they lie. 10. For there is a saying concerning them, which runneth like this: Misery loves company. And so they would have thee enter that state, knowing the sadness that shall afterwards ensue.11. Let not them sway thee in thine conviction for there is a reason it is called the holy bonds of matrimony. 12. However, if it is still in thine heart to enter into such folly after this
  counsel, remember that thou must wake up beside her every morning, so ensure that she hath fairness of face and trimness of figure.13. And look well to her mother, for that is likely how she shalt look in 30 years, if the Lord tarry. And be sure of one thing: that she hath a large talent toward cooking, and can make a good pie crust. For when thou losest thine teeth, thou dost not want to be gnawing upon tough pie crust and meat. 14 And if it is thine desire to be a minister, be sure that she teacheth Sunday School, playeth the piano, and looketh good at ministers meetings.15. If thou desirest greatly to find a wife, there be many  fair maidens in the far countries of CBS, SMBI, BMA, and HBS whom thou mayest ask out. 16 And now brethren, fear not, neither be afraid, for a large bank account awaiteth the man that abstaineth from marriage, and he shall take many fun trips.17. And faithful and just is he that keepeth thee from falling, to appoint you unmarried unto the day of
  retirement. Amen