Okay so I was listening to the forecast on my way home today…

the high today was 19.  The high tomorrow will be 9.  The high Saturday will be zero.  ZERO DEGREES.  I don’t know if anyone in this state is aware of this, but zero denotes NONE.  NO DEGREES.  Not as an overnight low, or a wind chill, but AN AFTERNOON HIGH OF ZERO DEGREES!  There are no degrees outside at nighttime anyway.  I mean I go outside looking for them and there are none.  Except these weird retarded ones that keep insisting they’re something called ‘negative degrees’.  Help me, I’m going back to Florida.

HELL IS NOW OFFICIALLY FROZEN OVER.

scary, I might now be obligated to do a lot of weird things I thought that statement got me out of…